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Four Marriages and One Wedding: A Prop 8 Story

I once thought only celebrities like Liz Taylor and Natalie Wood married the same man twice. But I've got them beat. By my count, I've been married to the same man four times now. And if the fight over same-sex marriage makes its way to the U.S. Supreme Court, my marriages could outpace Henry VIII's.

By marriages, I don't mean weddings. I've had only one wedding, in October 2008. My spouse, Jeff Bechtloff, and I were wed during that brief window of hopefulness when same-sex marriage was legal in California. That was before the voters of my home state decided in a spasm of fear and misinformation to outlaw gay marriage with Proposition 8, which rewrote the constitution so that "only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California." As you'll recall, Nov. 4, 2008, was the day Barack Obama was swept into office with the promise of "change." But for me and so many other gays and lesbians, that election day was just another ugly example of the same-old same-old.

In the three years since our wedding, Jeff and I have kept a wary eye on the court challenges to Prop 8. Today's ruling by the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals elicited cheers from us, but we've learned the hard way not to get too excited about these incremental legal wins. Watching the fight over gay marriage has been a lot like seeing Charlie Brown try to kick the football: every time he thinks he'll finally make that field goal, the conniving Lucy snatches it away. It's a funny gag in a cartoon--but not so amusing in real life, when your most personal and meaningful relationship hangs in the balance.

Full Story from The Daily Beast

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Publication Date: February 13, 2012
 

 

 

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